Cali palm trees

Iconic Cali palm trees

Half-way through February 2016 now.

Not long to go.

At this point, I stand at the fork in the road.
One thing I've gained from moving to London is confidence in my gut decision. For so many years moving to London was on the back of my mind and I knew I had to do it. Why? Because the inevitably of regretting not moving to London was tangible. Also, I was sick of just thinking about it! I had to do something about it. Yes, I never want to feel that feeling of anxiety again, but looking back you need to feel that - it means you're doing something uncomfortable and out of your comfort zone! As long as you plan and research as much as you can, let it pan out and, in the end, whatever happens, happens for a reason! At least, that's the mindset I try to adopt.

So now, the question is related to my career path.

This field is what I've been thinking about what seems like forever.

Lack of confidence and societal expectations, once again, held me back from pursuing it.

Also, it's the same categories of fear I had about London.

It's the same 'what if' questions I had before moving to London.

The ultimate questions is this: Will I regret not trying? Will I regret not pursuing it and at least giving it a shot?

It's a resounding yes.
Do I still have doubts?
Yes.

In the next few months, I will be doing a lot of researching and planning.

 What's there to lose?

Burger and Donuts

When in Rome...

Why I shoot film

Click here to find out why :)

Big thanks to Astrid for allowing me to be part of her "Why do you shoot film?" series.

On the topic of film, now that I know where to develop film in London, I will have 3 rolls developed by next week!

All in a day's work

Here are some daily views I see on my way to and at work:

  

 

Taking photos during my lunch break - instagram dedication, no? ;)

These days I find that from the time I arrive home to bedtime (that's usually 7pm to midnight) these hours are so, so precious. I feel the need to make the most out of them. Such is the life of a 9to5er.

Oh well, at least it's a long-weekend this week! Yay for Australia Day!

My plans for 2014

I've neglected this blog (once again) for a few months. Hope everyone (or anyone) reading my blog are all well and swell! It's almost the end of 2013 and christmas decorations are in full swing everywhere. At this time of the year, I usually look back and think, 'What?! It's already the end of the year? I feel like I've achieved nothing! No memories!' But years 2012 and 2013 were good to me. I want to write a separate post outlining the highlights of each month. That would be a nice ride down memory lane and an opportunity to be grateful for all that has happened :)

I really can't wait for 2014. I'm planning to finally move to London! 

The reason why I say 'finally' is because I've always wanted to do this since my uni days but after graduation I felt like I needed to gain more experience and save up some more money. So after 20 months since graduation, I feel more confident handing out my resume and digging into my savings account for the big move. All this time I've been thinking about it and focusing on savings and gaining experience, but now that I only have 3 months to go (I'm planning to leave at the end of March) and actually have a list of to-do's for each month it is quite nerve-racking and scary! There's always this thought in the back of my mind saying 'What if I can't find a job?', 'What if I hate my roommates and sharing a place with people?', 'What if I run out of money?', 'What if I find a crappy job that does nothing for my career?', 'What if it's better to seek stability, get married and stay in Sydney?', 'What if 'What if I get paid half of what I'm paying now?' - it goes on and on! Gah!

However, as Paul Coehlo says, "There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure".  Gosh, I love that book. I think I'll read the Alchemist again for some motivation. Anyway, yes, I will not allow my fear of failure get in the way of achieving this dream that I've thought about for so long! I can't wait to experience living abroad again and travel around Europe. I'm going to make it the best two years of my twenties. 

I'm thinking of creating a separate blog about my preparation and, once I'm there, my life in London. I've read so many helpful blogs about moving to London and I'd really love to give back and help another person out there in the world on the same boat as me, to encourage and prepare them for their big move. I guess I'm quite attached to this one that has archives from 2008. Wow, that's already 5 years ago. Wow, I've had this blog for 5 years. 

What to do...perhaps I'll create a domain such as, 'lifeinlondon.com' or 'hannathewanderlust.com'. Does that sound cheesy or even make sense? 

It would be nice for the purpose of ticking things off my list to record everything online. 

I'll try to figure out a way to export the contents on this blog to a new domain. 

I'll let ya'll know.

It's so exciting but scary at the same time. Hope to share my journey with you guys!

Birthdays, thoughts, life

Warm and peaceful.

-
[edit]

I turned a year older yesterday.
You know, as each year goes by, I definitely feel more comfortable (especially compared by my 19 year-old self) in my own skin, self-confident, self-aware and bold. Bold in the sense that I'm more defiant on following the norm and instead able to follow my own instinct and intuition. In times of uncertainty I can control my apprehensive thoughts and emotions by simply telling myself that everything happens for a reason, whether it be good or bad, there is a lesson and opportunity to grow and learn. I only came to realise this as it has happened so so many times and, really, you just gotta do the most you can do and then think "this too, shall pass".

I spent all day reading 'Steve Jobs' by Walter Isaacson today. I watched the movie 'Jobs' which made me curious and wanting to know more about this impetuous visionary and the tumultuous yet incredible life he had led. Very interesting so far! I also watched a BBC documentary on Vivian Maier and, gosh, I wish she was still alive and be able to ask her all the questions that I have about her. She's so mysterious and intriguing. Reading the Jobs biography and the Maier doco really got me thinking on natural talent and how it would feel to do something you love and good at doing. How do you find the answer to both - what do you love doing and know you are good at? I wonder if it's possible.

A muddle of thoughts

From a conversation today:

You learn more from failure than from stability. When you are young, failure helps you much more than when you are older. Try something new. You will find who you are.

Food for thought - the older Korean generation

Didn't eat pizza crust, my mother's reaction:

Mum: 너 왜 피자빵은 안먹어? 고소하고 맛있는데
(Why don't you eat the pizza crust? It's yummy you know)

*starts eating my leftover pizza crust*
Me: 엄마 먹지마, 그냥 버려~ (Mum don't eat it, just throw it away.)

Mum: 엄마 어렸을때, 할머니가 이 빵껩데기를 사서 매겨줬었어~
(When I was a kid, your grandma fed me bread crust that she bought.)

Me: 왜 빵껍데기를 사서먹어? (Why would you buy bread crust?)

Mum: 한국전쟁이 끝나고 미국부대가 남기고 버린 빵껍데기를 사람들이 뫃아서 팔았었어. 그만큼 먹을께 없었어 그때는
(After the Korean War, people used to collect leftover bread crust from the American soliders and sell it. That's how little there was to eat.)

Grandma: 그러니까, 한국이 그만큼 발전했다는게 대단한거야. 넌 이시대에 태어났단걸 감사해야해. (It's amazing how much Korea has developed. You should be grateful to have been born in this generation.)

Mum: 그래 엄마가 어렸을때만해도 그랬다. 넌 진짜 감사해야해 (Exactly, even when I was a kid it was like that. You should be thankful)

Me eating my last slice of pizza: Okay....I'll eat the crust on this slice....
Mum laughs, says it's okay and eats my crust instead
*tear*

Anyway, long post, but thought I'd share this. Let's all be grateful and not take things for granted! Even pizza crust :)

2012 motto

My motto for this year: "Inside Out" ;)

Epiphany - listen to your own voice

I realised it all comes down to independent thinking. From now on I'm going to listen to my own voice and no longer be influenced by the opinions of my parents, friends, society etc. That way, even if I fail or make a mistake I'll only have myself to blame and learn from it instead of being bitter towards someone else later.

In order to do so, one must have self-confidence and courage!
Let's DO it!

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost - poem

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

By Robert Frost

Getting Old

You know you're getting older when you now no longer order a mocha caramelatte and, instead, a latte with no sugar becomes your morning fix; you prefer tea without milk or sugar; you crave a '2&5' Vit A fruit juice instead of your usual 'strawberry squeeze' smoothie at Boost Juice; and when a cup of green tea before bed becomes a daily ritual...
Hello mid-twenties.

Eliminate negativity, facilitate positivity

Pride is relying on ourselves,

Humility means depending on the Lord